I really do not want to see things from Both Sides.

Both Sides Now

By Joni Mitchell

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air.

And feather canyons everywhere, I've looked at at clouds that way.

But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.

So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,

From up and down, and still somehow

It's clouds illusions I recall.

I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel

As every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.

But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go

And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now.

From give and take, and still somehow

it's love illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say, " I love you," right out loud.

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way.

But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed.

Some thing's lost but some thing's gained in living everyday.

I've looked at life from both sides now,

From win and lose, and still somehow

it's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know life at all.

As children, we rely on our parents to learn, thus their views and opinions are transferred to us. We may see things the way they see them. Like when it comes to gay rights, abortion, and religion. As we get older, our minds expand, they open up to new views and ideas that a few years ago they wouldn't have accepted. You start to see things in a new way, and that is what has been happening to me in the past year, I have started to see things in a new light.

I have always seen religion in one way, either you're in or your out. As I got older, I started questioning it, the enitre idea, if I believe in God, if I even want to put the energy into this thing that was created thousands of years ago. Was it even relevant today? Even when I had my Bat Mitzvah, I just didn't believe in it. This was a big change from five years ago, my entire life was about my religion, when I met people I would say, "Hi, I'm Audra, I'm Jewish." As I got older, something changed inside of me, I stopped believing everything people told me, I became cynical and way less trusting. I think part of me just stopped caring, about anything, especially what had been so important to me not so long ago. I started seeing things from different sides.

In the song above, it talks about growing up and the fairy tales you thought of so much when you are a kid start becoming less realistic, how simple things like clouds, turn in into something totally different. Some people call this maturing, I like to call it a loss of innocence. Whatever you call it, I am slowly going through it. Let me tell you one thing about it, it is not fun.